DAY 2: Endings and Beginnings

How often do we begin a project or a relationship or job or school or journey anything in life without a specific outcome or destination in mind?

I had a very specific vision of this 1000 days. I knew there would be challenging times. I saw myself rising to every challenge with courage, creativity. I saw myself finding a place to practice under any kind of circumstance. The fact that I was tired and just fell asleep was a decidely unremarkable end to this cycle of my practice.

It's been a busy few weeks. The boys started school (Calvin and Henry are both in middle school now) and Roger's in second grade. Mike was busy with work and the bounty from our garden. My yoga classes are thriving. Then, last Tuesday, while Mike was off hiking in the Adirondacks, Calvin fell from his skateboard and broke his arm (proximal humerus). As breaks go, it's a good one. He'll need 4 weeks in a sling (no cast) to recover. I sustained my practice through the days of the emergency room visit, the orthopedic appointment to confirm the ER diagnosis and my bout with a virus a few days later. It wasn't until everything was calm again, when Mike had returned home and I had recovered that I forgot.

Here's what I learned about this week.

There are going to be beginnings and endings in this 1000 day practice. On some level, this 1000 day practice will be from Thursday, August 16, 2007 through Wednesday, May 12, 2010. That's the day I received "the call" to commit to this practice.

Then, there's the 1000 day practice from Thursday, August 23, 2007 through Wednesday, May 17, 2010. That's the day I started over after realizing that I needed to do the GGM morning and evening.

And now, there's the practice that goes from Monday, September 24, 2007 through Sunday, July 20, 2010. I hesitate to even call it 1000 practice. Right now, I'm looking toward 40 days: November 2, 2007. That's enough for now.

The World Card (XXI) Gaia in my Tarot deck is the last card in the Major Arcana. Perhaps it tells me that I have completed something in my life, even if I can't exactly identify what that "something" is. Maybe I'm being reminded that no matter when I am in my meditation, the important part is to practice and not to be to attached to the form of the practice. So, if I forget and need to start over? I start over. We'll see how many times I start over during the next 1000 days. Can I stay out of my own way and let the practice unfold? We'll see.

Meanwhile, I'm beginning to experience the morning and evening practice as sturdy bookends to my day. I awaken with the practice and set an intention to live in Grace. I end the day with the practice and invite a sense of gratitude for everything in my life as it is right now.