Day 3: Happiness Runs In a Circular Motion

Happiness runs in a circular motion.

Love is like a little boat upon the sea.

Everybody is a part of everything anyway.

You can have it all if you let yourself be.

Donovan

I LOVE this song and I remember learning it as a child (although I learned and still HEAR the last line as "You can be happy if you let yourself be".

One of the blessings of rural life is living a quiet road. There's some traffic in a the mornings as we're on one of the main routes to school but it's pretty quiet. This morning I ran about 2.5 miles. That's shorter than usual, but I got hit by a virus last week and I'm still not feeling quite up to par. Usually, I try to run between 3 and 5 miles a day, 6 days a week.

I use the term "run" loosely. A little over a year ago, I was a mess. I signed up for a group weight-loss program at the YMCA where I teach yoga, stepped up my personal yoga practice, began letting go of some commitments that were no longer working (and were adding stress to my life) and decided that I would run.

At first, it was about a minute of slow jogging for every 4 minutes of walking on a flat treadmill. Now, I am happiest running the roads around my home in upstate New York, with their rolling hills. My neighbors are friendly and encouraging. Many of them said, "I see you out walking -- that's great." The first time I heard this I was just deflated. You see, in my mind, I had just finished a very FAST run. Then another person said the same thing. I replied, "Thank you and actually, I am running. It may not look fast and strong, but it sure feels that way."

A year and 35 pounds lighter, I am running. I am strong. Fast? I've realized that I'm not sure what "fast" feels like. So I play with fast on the treadmill. When I was young, I was very pigeon-toed and wore heavy corrective shoes. I didn't run. My feet were the object of a lot of attention and I felt very self-conscious. This running that I'm doing now? The five year-old inside who desperately wanted to run is having a blast.

This mornings run was not long, but long enough to feel the warmth of the sun, to see a few leaves tumble from the trees and all the while the Donovan song is playing in my head.

Happiness runs. Happiness also floats. Check out Naomi Shihab Nye's poem "So Much Happiness".

But happiness floats.

It doesn't need you to hold it down.

It doesn't need anything.

As I ran this morning, I felt aligned with happiness. I felt the warmth of its light as sure as I felt the warmth of the sun. When I run, I can let everything be, even my thoughts. I let go of the drama and intensity of getting 3 kids off to school. I let go of the work that I had to do when I got home. I just ran.

Today Grace is running on the roads near my home, with happiness floating just above me.

What is the connection between happiness and Grace? They are old friends.